Aftertaste

It took 3 weeks of being angry to notice what a bad aftertaste it leaves. Today I'm starting again. I'm not gonna cry anymore tears over Retard.

What are the chances??? The parralels between Twatfeatures and Retard were always a little weird, but starting the same course at the same time? This is it. The Proof. Someone up there has it in for me. Maybe its the aliens. Hmmm in a strangely sadistic way this is giving me something to think about.

My twisted little mind is coming up with all these fight-scene scenarios and I cant help sizing them up. Retard is built like Johnny Wilkinson, but when it comes down to it Twatfeatures is all experienced, and much more agile. I hope they act first talk later coz if they started swapping Fun Facts I could be really screwed. I'm getting seriously carried away now, arming Twatfeatures with a shiny knife hidden in his boot, and Retard improvises with a floorboard(complete with nails sticking out).

Last night was Rock Bottom. It was just the climax of this scream that had been building in m chest since That Monday...it felt like it was gonna burst out like those crazy aliens in Alien versus Predator. I think its gonna be one of those moments I never forget. Kneeling in an underpass, my back slammed against the wall trying to remember how to breathe. All I can remember is panting out "oh God, oh God" and hearing "Im with you" by Avril lavigne playing in the recesses of my mind (avril lavigne is a guilty pleasure of mine...shes preety much written my life story in lyrical form).

Somehow I woke up in my bed the next morning. Even though the Friend assured me that I wouldnt, I dreamt about him. We were sat on opposite ends of a bus, but I didnt realise this until I stepped off. We just stared at each other for the longest time and then...we started reaching for each others hands...I guess the good thing about Rock Bottom is that the only way is up. I've been held in this bubble of bitter-sweet peace today, but its so fragile. Rediscovering Shinedown helped in more ways then I can explain. I love the song "Shed Some Light"..it sounds like a prayer. I think ill learn it on my guitar...a distraction. Its twice that song has saved me now :)

I'm falling apart again
And I can't find a way to make amends
And I'm looking in both directions
But it's make believe, it's all pretend

So...Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in

It's innocence within the maze
But I have chosen the wrong way
I'm still getting over who I was
There's no sense of trust, there's no definition of love

So...Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in

I know now, it's not who you are
It's who you knowAnd I see clearly now, which way to go
remember the way I fell from above
And I recall the way I was

So...Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe in

Shed some light on me
And hold me up in disbelief
And shed some light on me
And tell me something that I'll believe
Tell me something that I'll...Tell me something that I'll believe
Tell me something that I'll believe
Something I'll believe